Have to start from last Sat.
Lets see, i had to attend the party held by my music school. I was praying that i would not meet anyone i know on the way there. Believe it or not, but i hate to be spotted by people when
im going out alone,
hahas.
Anyway, my prayer worked though unfortunately, i forgot to pray for the party cause i met someone there. Lets just say that we
aint chummy with one another. Not that i hate her but i so do not want to see her ever again.
At first i
wasnt that nervous about my performance. I mean, even if i played wrongly, nobody knows who i am. But now that someone i know is there (and it has to be THAT person) i totally began to have a panic attack. Some bad memories from the past with THAT person makes me feel like that.
The emcee
annouced my name and my grade and then when i walked up to the platform, i heard people muttering, "Grade 6
leh!"
As if i have very little to be nervous about.
The performance, just like any performance, feels really surreal. Its different from my
CCA where we play in group. Its solo performance and everyone can hear you playing. And like in any other performance, my hands
dont feel like mine. It was as if i was looking from a 3rd person point of view. Playing on the grand piano (which cost $20000 something, i saw the price tag) i can see the reflection of my hands flying over the keys. Surreal, as i said.
I had a mistake. Though it was one, it was super duper grave. I thought i pressed the wrong note (it was correct as it turns out) so i desperately try to read my score. Unfortunately, i
hadnt been looking at my score the whole time so i
dont know where i am. In the end, i had to repeat 4 bars before it.
Total
embarrassment. My legs were shaking when i finally got of the platform. But when i returned to my seat, i was clamping my mouth shut to prevent myself from laughing. I kept smiling to the people beside me (=.=). I also caught the emcee sneaking a weird look at me. Either she was thinking
a) How could she get a distinction?or
b) Why is she laughing after such a horrible performance.If it was a), i would really like to punch her in the arm jokingly and say, "Hell, i asked myself this question too when i first received my cert."
If it was b)... Well,
im a lunatic,
thats what i do! Besides,
ive been trained to laugh when i
humiliate myself,
hahas.
Terrible performance(:
