"Hi. I can't come to the phone now, so if, well, actually, I CAN come to the phone now, I mean, like, I'm at the phone NOW, recording this message, but I'm doing this NOW, while you're listening to it LATER, except for you I guess it's NOW, like, when you're listening to it... I mean, like, wait, gosh. This is so confusing."
"Please leave your name, phone number, the time you called, and your favorite color of underwear. We'll get back to you if we liked that colour."
HAHAHAS :DDD